I guess I should begin where I all began...I was born on August 4th, 1990 to two beautiful parents at the Harrisburg Hospital in PA. I'm not going to bore you with my whole life story, if you are really interested in knowing something, don't hesitate to ask. Along with my two loving parents, I also have an 18 year old sister, she is my queen. I absolutely adore her, respect her strength and courage in life, and have unconditional love for her. I have been truly blessed with an unbelievable family that supports me through all my ups and downs.

It took me a little bit of time to tell them the suffering I was going through inside my own mind. I knew they really wouldn't understand, after all, how do you explain something that can't even be put into words? How do you explain the voices in your head? How do you explain the alter egos that may come over you every single day? It's not like I'm sad all the time. It's not like I'm looking for pity or for you to feel sad for me. My goal in this is to reach just ONE PERSON. If I can change the life for one person, make one person feel more comfortable with their disease, or make just one friend, my goal here is complete.

THE ONE THING I AM NOT LOOKING FOR IS SORROW, REMORSE, OR PITY FOR ME OR ANYONE HERE. I have reached a point in my life that I am comfortable speaking and talking about depression and the effects it has had on me. One day, you will reach that point too. I have been blessed with this disease; it truly has been both a blessing and a curse at the exact same time. I cannot begin to explain the moments where both of those feelings have set upon me over the past 3 years. Moments where I feel like I am the absolute king of this world...but also moments where I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit that has ever walked the face of the earth.

I honestly can't even remember a specific time or place my depression started (maybe a period of really bad breakups, struggles in sports, growing pains, some traumatic life events, and probably  few too many mind-altering substances caused it to set in) I just know it's there. I know it's there when the voice inside my head (who I have named Jay Guerrisi) speaks to me on a day to day basis. Call me crazy, call me insane, call me "DEPRESSED", whatever you want to call me. It's not like I haven't heard it all before. I am Jordan Joseph Wright, plain and simple. Take it or leave it. This depression does not define me, my thoughts do not define me, my material items do not define me. My heart defines me, my soul defines me, my burning internal flame defines me. I feel genuine love for all of you out there who feel what I feel on a day to day basis. BUT JUST REMEMBER, EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN STRUGGLES THAT THEY ARE HIDING.  THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE MUCH WORSE OFF THEN WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!

I was medicated for 3 years. I took Citalopram for a few months, which is generic Celexa, and I have also taken Cymbalta for the majority of my time. However, I am no longer medicated, the side effects that it had on my body far outweighed the positives it was doing for me. Yes, I no, I am extremely lucky to have had the transition off medication that I did; I know others are not as blessed as I am. As of today, January 10th, I take 900mg of Fish Oil daily to help my mental stability and to improve my brain functions.

Some of you probably think I'm a lunatic at this point, just the way I like it :)

I don't think I am better than anyone, in fact, I often feel inferior far more times than I really should. There are a lot of bad people in this world. Sometimes I feel like I too was a bad person once. However, now I like to think that I have one of the biggest hearts that can be found anywhere, it's often my downfall. I sometimes care so much that it destroys everything I am trying to create in my life.

I could sit here and ramble on and on and on and on for as long as I want, I have so much I'd like to say. I'm not going to bore you with any more of my life story. I'm going to ask you just a few things before I leave to shower and eat. (I lifted my ASS off today! Baseball season is just a few days away.) ONE: Please take a few minutes to visit the website of the nonprofit organization that I help run and am the secretary for ----> www.blessedandappreciative.org <------ any support is greatly appreciated. TWO: Don't be afraid to ask me anything, whether that be in person if you do know me, or on this blog. THREE: Spread the word, help break the silence, help save a life. Depression is a dangerous disease and I genuinely do not want anyone to suffer alone. I suffer with you; we can combat and control this disease together.

Last but not least....
When you have no one else, remember, you have me.
WE WILL COMBAT THIS DISEASE TOGETHER.

-J